OPINION | Jealousy isn't a dress code

A graduation ceremony is not a battlefield, yet some people walk into it armed with judgment, ready to fire at anyone who dares to stand out. It's supposed to be a garden of celebration—different flowers blooming in their own colors—but somehow, there are always those who insist everything should look the same, trimmed down to their idea of "acceptable."

It is something deeply frustrating—and frankly exhausting—about the way some people love to police how parents dress during graduation and recognition rites. The moment a mother shows up in a well-thought-out outfit or a father puts in extra effort to look sharp, here come the whispers: "OA naman." "Sobra." "Nagpapansin."

Let's be clear: that mindset is the real problem.

Graduation isn't just about the students—it's a milestone for the entire family. The parents sacrificed time, money, sleep, and opportunities to get their children to that stage. And now you're going to shame them for dressing up? For wanting to look good in a moment they with their children earned?

That's not humility. That's insecurity disguised as judgment.

If a school doesn't set a specific dress code or theme, then parents are absolutely free to wear whatever they want—as long as it's proper and formal. Period. There is no unwritten rule that says you have to look plain, toned down, or "just enough" to avoid offending other people's fragile standards.

Calling someone "OA" for dressing well says more about you than it does about them. It exposes this toxic culture where effort is mocked, confidence is mistaken for arrogance, and standing out is treated like a crime.

Let people celebrate the way they want to celebrate.

If a parent wants to wear a sleek dress, a tailored suit, or something elegant and eye-catching—so what? They're not hurting anyone. They're not disrespecting the event. In fact, they're honoring it by showing up looking their best.

The real disrespect is in tearing people down for choosing to shine during one of the proudest moments of their lives.

Not everyone wants to blend into the background—and they shouldn't have to.

And let's talk about the double standards. When someone underdresses, people also complain—calling it "walang effort" or "disrespectful." But when someone actually does put in effort, suddenly it's "too much"? So which is it? You can't demand effort and then punish people for delivering it.

Remember, jealousy isn't a dress code. So, stop wearing it with pride.

At the same time, respect should go both ways. If someone chooses to dress simply, or doesn't have the means to afford what others can, they deserve just as much dignity—no less, no more. Not everyone has the same resources, priorities, or circumstances. And that should never be a reason to judge, belittle, or exclude.

Because the truth is, whether someone is overdressed or underdressed in your eyes, the bare minimum should always be respect. Respect for their choices. Respect for their situation. Respect for their humanity.

This constant need to regulate how others present themselves is rooted in a deeply ingrained fear of judgment—ironically, the same judgment being thrown around so freely. It creates an environment where people feel pressured to shrink themselves just to avoid criticism, even during moments that are supposed to be joyful and celebratory.

And let's call it what it really is: crab mentality.

If someone can do what you can't, if someone has what you don't, or if someone is already climbing the ladder to improve themselves, there are people who would rather pull them down than step up. They bash. They mock. They throw words meant to embarrass and hurt—not because they're right, but because it feeds their ego. It gives them a false sense of superiority, like dragging someone down somehow lifts them higher.

But it doesn't.

All it does is expose bitterness. It shows a mindset that would rather destroy confidence than build its own. And in the process, they're not elevating themselves—they're making a spectacle out of their own insecurity. They turn themselves into the very thing they try to ridicule: a joke.

Because at the end of the day, people who are genuinely secure don't feel threatened by others dressing well, shining, or standing out. They don't feel the need to insult, shame, or belittle. They mind their own lives—and improve them.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to look memorable in photos that will be kept for a lifetime. There is nothing wrong with taking pride in your appearance. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with showing up in a way that reflects your personal style, confidence, and happiness.

Instead of criticizing, people should learn to normalize self-expression—especially in spaces that celebrate achievement and milestones. Because at the end of the day, graduations are about growth, progress, and stepping forward. That should include how people choose to present themselves, too.

So no, parents who dress well are not "OA." They are simply choosing not to dull their shine to make others comfortable. And frankly, that's something more people should have the courage to do.