The tie they had made me wear was put on too tightly. I couldn't breathe.
"You couldn't do that, you never will." That's what they've always told me whenever I say I can think for myself—that I should stick to doing this instead and live a 'happy' and secure life. But I never wanted what they were imposing on me; it was a trap. One meant to keep me caged, to make me believe that I could never have my own desires and instead squeeze myself into theirs. But the joke is on them, because this desire is engraved in my veins.
To think freely in this day and age is no easy feat—the chaotic whirlwind of different opinions and views easily influences everything around you. In the 1989 film 'Dead Poets Society' by Peter Weir, the main characters all reacted differently to their teacher, Mr. John Keating, and his beliefs that involved 'Seizing the day' and creating a voice for themselves. In the midst of reluctance to break out of the standards imposed upon the boys, Charlie Dalton had stood out. No hesitation; just taking a piece of cake and running with it.
Charlie was, if not, the loudest of the group, and was much more vocal than Neil Perry in terms of expression—one case was challenging Welton Academy's headmaster Mr. Nolan, saying that they should have girls in the school. Considering the film was set in 1959, single-sex preparatory schools were still a thing, and Charlie's cry for co-education wasn't taken well by the administrative office. He took his teacher's words to heart more than the others, and ended up misinterpreting what it really meant. Hence Mr. Keating saying, "Sucking out the marrow of life doesn't mean choking on the bone," after Charlie's daring feat.
His rebellion may have gotten him expelled, but his role left a lasting impression on multiple viewers of the film. The call to speak up, especially on political issues, has been highly relevant of late. Politicians running away from their liabilities and flood control problems causing the people—and especially the youth—to protest for accountability. To think for themselves, that the government may not exactly be the shimmering diamond they saw it as. To break free from old-fashioned, conservative beliefs that some Filipinos still practice to this day. To express themselves freely without any regard but then still be aware of the consequences they could face.
I yanked off the tie as soon as I could, taking a deep breath of fresh air. I could finally breathe. The cold night air welcomed me with open arms, and for the first time I felt free. No more of these traps, this cage that had me for longer than I could remember. The newfound mobility may have gotten me a few concerned glances from others, but I was truly happy and secure; something that used to only be an illusion I could never see.
After all what had happened, I've proven them wrong. I could do it—and I will do it.
Written by Joni Lopez, Insight PH
Joni Lopez, Insight PH is a dedicated campus journalist and contributor. Their insightful writing sparks meaningful conversations and keeps the community informed.
