Trust. Passion. Dedication. Three things linger in the mind when you are up to something meaningful—in this case, a college entrance test, specifically the University of the Philippines, or what they call UPCAT.
University of the Philippines (UP), established in 1908, is widely regarded as one of the country's most prestigious higher education institutions. Admission to UP is primarily determined through the University of the Philippines College Admission Test (UPCAT), an examination used to assess and rank applicants nationwide based on both their test performance and high school academic records.
But what if these simple ingredients to achieve that dream of passing the UPCAT weren’t enough? I got it all, so why did I fail even before it arrived? Well, I guess we must digest that first!
TRUST
First things first, even before the UPCAT season takes place, TRUST is highly needed—well, sort of. In general, we need that thing to fuel ourselves to do the right thing and pursue something. Trust yourself, because in the first place, how can the people around you trust you when you don’t trust yourself? Realistically, trusting myself is easy in words—you can just shout, “I trust myself!” but deep inside me, it is not the easiest.
Growing up, I have learned to trust my capabilities and skills, but ironically, it became hard for me to trust myself. But my inner self is screaming, “I have the skills, I have the courage, and I have the ability, so why can’t I trust myself?” Along the way, I slowly began trusting myself. Step by step, I built a person I can trust wholeheartedly—so in a sense, I finally got the first ingredient!
Then what’s next?
PASSION
Naturally, you will meet that passion—it may be unexpected, but it will meet you just in time, when you actually need it. In my case, I met it even before the UPCAT season, so it’s already a win-win situation. But not quite, because even if that passion is present, if you don’t utilize it, then it’s useless. You must pair passion with action—learn from it, overcome every challenge that hinders it, and make sense of it. That will be your tool to continue your dreams.
Learn from its nature. Use it to your advantage to grow as a person. Use it to seek improvement and act right according to what your heart desires. At the end of the day, passion will live within us—so use it as your instrument to keep moving forward and to follow your dream bravely. Based on my personal assessment, I believe I have it too.
So, is the road “clearer” now?
Hmm… let’s see.
DEDICATION
Lastly, to maximize your strength, you must have dedication. Have the strong will to achieve your dreams; you dedicate everything to it—your time, your strength, your energy. That’s what dedication is for—dedicating what you have to get the dreams you want. UPCAT isn’t a joke, so dedication is a must. Even if you have the first two ingredients, when you don’t have this, you are not set to take the exam, nor do you have a chance.
That’s how important it is to dedicate yourself to something—to never regret the chance, to never lose hope, and to never forget the sacrifices you put into it. From my own perspective, and in balance with what I have, I believe I have the dedication.
It’s all done; we got the three ingredients necessary to take the UPCAT! I GOT IT ALL, but then, how did I fail even before I started this journey?
THE DOWNFALL
I got all the unspoken rules I set for myself—I trusted myself at that time, I was so passionate about it, and I was willing to dedicate every ounce of myself to it. But then again, why?
“UPCAT 2026 application is now open,” said one Facebook post on a random day. I got so excited that I immediately opened their portal with an eager heart. Unaware of the looming obstacles, I was staring at the bright screen in front of me, unconsciously tearing up. Questions began to build up like clouds in the sky, already peeking at the future and weighing all the factors.
Why did I suddenly feel that way when I thought I was already locked in it? One thing, and I believe it will always be the reason for everything—financial instability. It controls me, my choices, and my present. I firmly believed before that I was so locked in on my decision to take the UPCAT, but I unexpectedly doubted it all. I weighed all possible options: take it for the experience and not continue even if I passed, not take it to save up for my future college entrance tests, or continue and take the risk as planned.
Every year, hundreds of thousands of students take that same step, hoping to secure a slot. Yet, based on recent data, around 135,000 students applied, but only about 18,000 qualified—roughly 13% of all examinees (University of the Philippines, 2023). Admission is not simply about passing; applicants are ranked nationwide using a combined score of their exam performance and their Grades 8 to 11, making the process even more competitive and uncertain (UPCAT General Information Bulletin).
But one thing’s for sure: when talking about the future of someone who does not have enough financial capacity to even try or be at risk—I am lost and will always feel like a loser. I am bewildered and confused; it’s like I am a wanderer, but I’m a fish out of water.
Instead of getting excited to receive my test permit for the UPCAT, I ended up with a clouded mind, endless questions, and a shattered heart. I was adrift and ended up taking a different direction—I had to take a path even if it cost me my dreams, specifically my dream school, where I could hone my abilities and nurture my dreams. Before I even received the mail saying that green “Congratulations!” or that red “Thank you!” I had already given up and redirected my focus.
It’s funny and ironic that a piece of paper can prove your excellence, but can also determine your future when you don’t have enough of it.
BEHIND IT ALL
To dream high is to hurt yourself when you know there’s nothing you can do but dream of it. As a boy who lives in a province far from the city of the university I dreamed of, where it takes a 12-hour drive just to get there, it is already a privilege to study there. I must leave my province and be welcomed by a city I’m not so familiar with. I must be separated from my family just to study, I must live by myself and learn city life independently, and start from scratch.
They promise a free entrance fee for all Filipino citizens under national law, but the closest testing center for me requires traveling more or less than 60 minutes, with a fare that amounts to my three-day allowance for school. Aside from that, I peek through the possibilities—if I pass, how likely is the program offered by the university to resonate with my dreams? Can that degree program help me support my family financially in the future? Or is it that I pass but cannot pursue it due to the given factors and will only end up with more doubts and heartbreak? If I don’t pass, the same ending will happen.
With the redirection, I had to force myself to build a cloak to hide the fact that I wouldn’t take the UPCAT or that I didn’t take it. When they ask me how the UPCAT was, I force myself to lie and hide the truth because I was scared of judgment. Iin the first place, I was an excelling child, expected to dream high and excel in college entrance exams. I was ashamed and lacked the confidence to admit that I was defeated by some piece of money.
These are the same reasons why I also didn’t risk the chance to take any of the “Big 4” entrance tests—it boils down to the same reason: money.
REDIRECTION
Despite the silent battles I endured for more than a year, one of my dream universities opened its doors for a boy who dreams. It was not the prestigious University of the Philippines, but I will soon become an “Iskolar ng Bayan.” It was a redirection, but I am now leading to a path that I also envisioned years ago.
Redirection is to follow; dreams are to follow.
SINKING IN…
Was I weak and became a loser, or did I just save myself from the exhaustion of bloodshot eyes and a blue heart?
While others celebrate by receiving “Congratulations!” and others are grieving for that “Thank you!”, I will always yearn for the opportunity and chances I did not take.
One thing’s for sure: when we crave something, we may not get it tomorrow, next month, next year, or even for the next decade, but it will surely be fulfilled someday. Trust time, be passionate, and dedicate that dream to your lifetime.
Dreams are worth living for, not leaving. Potentials exist, but sometimes access does not.
Well, I guess I can finally say this: SALAMAT UP (read backwards).
Written by Chalton Sean Ramos, Insight PH
Chalton Sean Ramos, Insight PH is a dedicated campus journalist and contributor. Their insightful writing sparks meaningful conversations and keeps the community informed.
